I missed him

Last night lil fella slept in his own bed for the first time...only for the first half of the night though.

Then I think he was punishing me for it the rest of the night because although I took him back into bed w/ me, he did not sleep well @ all.  I don't even know why I put him in his bed...guess cause it was in our room staring @ me for the past 6 mos? Or maybe it's cause baby rolls all over the bed & ends up sideways & I am afraid he will get smothered by a blanket? Or maybe it's simply cause *I* feel so squished on the end (ahem *edge*) of the bed.

I must admit I really could not get to sleep w/o him near me, wierd I know. Sometimes he has woken up and I see him simply put his hand on me and go back to sleep.

I have not been ECing any more during the night...which may or may not contribute to him waking up more. I am not sure. I have just been too tired so I just nurse him...but somehow I think he sleeps better (less restlessness)  if I *do* take him potty.

O! and hey! I finally got him to eat avacado today...I simply had to cut it into chunks NOT mash it up. He took quite a few bites that way. Yay.

Hell Week!

You know, that week for football players right before the season officially starts? That's pretty much how it was last week. My poor babe! He screamed & cried & kicked *every* time I would put him down, even if just to change his diaper.

When he woke up one day w/ tons of mucous running out of his nose & no longer fussing, I realized, he must've been having a sinus headache all that time!  Sheesh! Finally I had my babe back! I was worried there for a minute.

He's got 4 teeth now too. How fast huh? He's got his upper two & his lower front two. I can't believe it myself. I was looking forward to getting a few shots w/ just his first front two. Before they were all the way in, the top two were coming through.  He's such a cutie though, I won't mind too much.

He doesn't want to eat baby food! Then it dawned on me, maybe he wants real *feeling* chunky soft food, right? I gave him a small spoon tip worth of rice & beans. O! The look on his face! He did not like the texture of the rice & he stuck his tongue out & spit it out immediately.  I've been letting him gnaw & chew on chewy breads like bagels..but I read that grains aren't really too good for them at this age...so I don't know what to feed him besides continued nursing.

All he will really take is bananas!

First illness...

My poor babe!  He's had quite a fever now for the past few days. Today I noticed a rash too so it could be Roseola. Poor little guy is obviously not feeling good.  He's not really crying just making whiny noises and it's just so sad.

I've been giving him tylenol and it seems to help for awhile.  Otherwise, today, all he wants to do is 'pretend' to nurse.  The good thing is that he is sleeping a bit better.  Of course all I want to do is hold and snuggle him and make it all better...but alas, there are so many things to do plus I'm not feeling too great myself. {sigh}

It's unusal but I've been able to just lay him down in the bed and he will sort of roll over half way and go to sleep. I know the rest is good for him. The nursing is also the best thing too so I've cut back all 'real' foods for now.

3? Are you kidding me?

Baby has 3, count them, 3 teeth! I thought it would take longer. whew! For cutting in so many, he certainly hasn't been very fussy.

Last night though he broke out in a fever and slept very fitfully. I do not know why. The digital ear thermometer we have was of no use either. It wouldn't read his temp as anything over 96 degrees and it kept reading *my* temp as 94!!!

I've been giving him a few foods here an there. He loves bananas but they seem to give him a stomach ache. He refuses to open his mouth for hard boiled egg yolk. I even mixed it with lots of coconut oil and sweet potatoes once. Yesterday he had pomegranate applesauce. High in antioxidants low on baby friendliness. It was a crack up. He'd take it in but then make these sour faces that were so funny.

I steamed and mashed carrots for him. Except for being mush, I thought they tasted delicious. Apparently he does not agree. I am trying to start him off healthy but he seems to not be having any of it. I know breastmilk is the most nutritious thing for him right now anyway so I guess there really is no rush.

I have  a group I meet with every other Thursday night, so even though I don't want to rush him, I want him to have something available to hold him off when I am not here for those few hours.

And even though I am enjoying the bit of 'freedom' (which really isn't an accurate word), I am saddened by how quickly he is growing. I think I normally do a good job of savoring the moments...but this time has flew by.

I guess NOT!

Pomegranite Applesauce going *in*....

...but not so well received!

It's fascinating, really

how much my baby is developing and how. The other day I was speaking to him in a happy tone BUT he was *not* looking at me. He could not see my face but he smiled and got excited. I realized he was processing what I was saying and his brain was recognizing it as a positive tone with out him even needing to see my face! I find that pretty amazing.

I never realized before how their brain processing is also developing auditorily. You would think that by child #4, nothing would be 'new' or exciting any more right? but NO! I'm seeing even more fine details that I never noticed before. We are such fascinating creatures. The way we learn, develop and take in the world around us. each aspect more fascinating than the previous.

Baby K is practically sitting up now. He can for a few seconds before slightly leaning over and then falling over. O! We visited a friend the other day who's youngest is 1 year old and also loves to scream. So guess who has picked up this *adorable* ear piercing habit? yikes! Another fascinating part of development--imitation? I guess he's a fast learner. :-)

Song for a Fifth Child

Mother, oh Mother,

come shake out your cloth,

empty the dustpan,

poison the moth,

hang out the washing

and butter the bread,

sew on a button and make up a bed.

Where is the mother whose house

is so shocking?

She's up in the nursery,

blissfully rocking.

Oh, I've grown shiftless as Little

Boy Blue (lullaby, rockaby, lullaby loo).

Dishes are waiting and bills are past due

(pat-a-cake, darling, and peek, peekaboo).

The shopping's not done

and there's nothing for stew

and out in the yard there's a hullabaloo

but I'm playing Kanga and this is my Roo.

Look! Aren't her eyes the most wonderful hue?

(lullaby, rockaby, lullaby loo).

The cleaning and scrubbing

will wait till tomorrow,

for children grow up,

as I've learned to my sorrow.

So quiet down, cobwebs.

Dust go to sleep.

I'm rocking my baby and babies don't keep'

~Ruth Hulburt Hamilton~

Growing, growing, growing...

like a WEED! haha!

He finally had his 2 mos check-up--yes he's 5.5 mos old. He was *lost* in the system & once he was found it was another month before he could get in to see the doc.

He weighs 15 lbs 4 oz! He's doing well rolling over & pushing up when he is on his belly.

Last week he cut in a beautiful new pearly white! No more chewing on my knuckles..those baby teeth are sharp!

He received 3 shots today & is *not* a happy camper! He is the most fussy he has ever been. The baby tylenol helped. I was glad he @ least, got out of 1 shot, because he was too old. I am not %100 comfortable w/ vaccinations but I am not %100 not giving them either. My compromise is for them to receive them later than recommended. I figure their immune systems are more developed and all that breastmilk has provided good natural antibodies & protection.

He went on his first camping trip last week. it wasn't so bad. I think he enjoyed the hike we took. He was in the wrap & didn't fuss a bit. He fell asleep after awhile. Everyone commented on how *good* he was--never hear him cry. He didn't sleep so well the first night, but who would on that hard ground? He did better the second night...too bad I didn't.

The EC is continuing & worked great while camping. Even more so since he was mostly 'in arms' the majority of the time.

he will be starting solid foods soon....the doctor said no eggs but I recently read egg yolk is good for babies--a good 'fat'. Doctor also said after 6 mos he can basically eat *anything*...really? hhhmmm...interesting.

Speaking of food--have you walked down the baby food aisle lately? Gerber has this expanded line of baby/toddler & preschool foods--totally disgusting! It's a meal in a box! Basically a tv dinner for a baby. Naturally they call it healthy! yuck! It says NO preservatives...ok well then HOW do you *box* vegetables? O! you put it in a 'pouch'? barf!

And I know inexperienced moms are going to see those & probably feel *good* giving it to baby. :(

What's the rush?

I can't believe he is 4 months old. Seriously! Why does time have to move so quickly? Is it ungrateful to miss that cuddly, snuggly tiny babe?

I enjoy every phase of my children's lives...but newborns! aaahhhh....need I say more?

The ECing is still going strong. I really love it. We even EC'd @ Disneyland last night. woohoo. He seems to enjoy it much more on his little potty than me holding him, like I did at first.

The babe can officially roll over too. I was starting to fear he wouldn't cause he was always in arms but I began tummy time on a blanket on the floor. It wasn't long before natural development caught up. He's also sporting the old-man-going-bald do! Yes, his hair is falling out, like mine, but he had a full fluff on each side by his ears. Too funny.

He loves his voice, is drooling up a storm (a flood?) & his tooth buds are really obvious now.

What sweetness, to love this child.

EC

aka Elimination Communication. aka Infant Potty Training.

I'm taking this up. We're on day 4 & this is going so much better than I imagined. Seriously! I'm totally hooked. It's so easy. @ least I have made it very easy on myself. As soon as he wakes up...to the sink we go. We make faces in the mirror & laugh & sure enough....psssss! yay!

The warm weather is also making it easy because baby can be half clothed w/ ease as I watch for signs. I am not stressing msyelf out about it. There are many misses but they are near misses.

Yesterday we were out & about. I wasn't sure how that would work. I just *knew* he had to go but I wasn't able to get to him on time but when I did check his dipey--sure enough, he had *jsut* gone!

This is also such a self confidence booster as a mother too. Confirming how much I really do know my child/baby. And it's actually a lot of FUN!

Not to mention the diapers I am saving each time I get a catch.

sleep? what! sleep?

Hopeing not to jinx myself but baby has effectively been going to sleep around 9pm or so last few nights. Seriously. I think we may finally be settling on a routine. Although...I think I may also remember this same thing happening w/ last baby (current 7yo) & all my hopes getting dashed as soon as she started cutting her teeth in.

I will enjoy it while I can. This week we have been trapped in our home due to some house painting & have had to have teh windows closed. So we ahev been running fans. I think the fan noise seems to really help him sleep. wierd. But hey! whatever works right?

I do think he is beginning to teethe for reals now too. Instead of just sucking, he is really gnawing or biting down on my knuckle now. Hope it doesn't get too bad for him.

I think baby is a nudist...

Lately it has been really hot. That's dreadful when you have a new cuddly sweet baby. I jsut *had* to put him down but he was so upset. Then something amazing happened....he cried harder & louder when I laid him down until....I took his diaper off.

Suddenly he was SO happy. I took it off & left it off & he was all smiles, giggles & crazy kicky feet. LOL

I've been trying this @ least once or twice a day, when we have some down time, to be sure it wasn't just a fluke.

It's confirmed, that cute little guy just loves to be nakey! :-)

Teeth! what?

I know it's early but I swear he's already got 2 front teeth buds!

I wouldn't have believed it myself either but...I noticed & rubbed my finger along his gum & could totally feel them. Confirmed!

wow!

I wonder if *that's* why he's my first baby to noticeably be such a drooler? lol

I hope it's a trend...

Last night baby seemed to be asleep. I laid him in bed but still had a few things to do before I joined him. I noticed he would move & shift around a bit but I decided not to start nursing him right away but to wait & see what would happen. This was around 10pm or so.

He pretty much stayed asleep!!! It seemed to take him about 20 min to be fully *out* but he made it. He had even opened his eyes a few times but went back to sleep.

I finally heard from him around 4:30am or so & I nursed him back to sleep.

I will try this again tonight & see what happens....here's hoping! :-D

By morning time, he's such a smiling joy! So maybe he is a morning person?
Yesterday I put him in the wrap, but facing outward. He seemed to like it. We were outside so that might've helped. We worked in the garden, pulling weeds & I explained everything to him the whole time. He's a great listener! LOL

What's it worth?

average nights sleep? 3 hours

diapers changed per day? 10

minutes to myself? 0

Being the first to make baby smile? PRICELESS!!!

~*~*~*~*~*

Yes, I got a huge grin today. I was holding a cloth diaper in front of baby, playing peek-a-boo, this morning. One time it produced a huge grin. Another time I snuzzled & tickled his neck & he did the same thing but you always doubt that first one right? lol

I also kept sticking my tongue in & out knowing he would/should copy me, and he did. What a little sweetie he is!

Magical Month One!

It feels like a lifetime but baby is one month old!

I feel like we finally know each other. I feel adjusted (to the sleep loss? lol) & confident, as if all my baby momma skills suddenly came back to me overnight. heehee. He doesn't seem so fragile anymore. I know when he's tired but cries cause he doesn't know how to fall asleep. I know when he's crying cause he wants to be held but isn't starving. Or when he has an air bubble & needs to burp.

He enjoys walks in the stroller. Especially when he's a bit tired. He'll cry a bit then fall asleep. One night he slept in the stroller for 3 hours! I didn't know what to do w/ myself! lol

I am so in love.

no more whining!

UUUmm...ok, I guess I'll stop complaining bout my weight & current body shape.....

I was weighed while @ the WIC office today.
I've already lost @ least 20lbs! I don't know if I should be shocked or relieved?

On the flip side...I tried on a different pair of maternity pants today...they were too *tight*! ugh. {eyeroll}

Not-even-a-spare-moment-to-shower-STAGE!

Here we are *today*!

It was one of those days that I couldn't even catch a break to take a shower....kwim?
Baby needs me, kids need me, DH needs me, *I* need me!!!

After everyone else gets their showers in & I finally think I have a chance...no hot water.
Once the warm water replenishes...NO CLEAN TOWELS!!!!!! arg! Not one in the whole place??? Nope!

Which @ this point...can move me to tears in an instant!
Reminder: this is only a *short* season!! :-)
OH! & BUY more towels!!!

Pornographic stage!

{hope I don't regret using that word in my title}

Yep! This is where we are folks!
Milk has come IN....just when you really thought I could NOT get any *bigger*! shya right!

Don't you remember me mentioning this a few months ago?
Don't say I didn't warn you. LOL

Oh & took K back in today...no weight gain but no drop either. There was a diff nurse today She seemed to think coming in the very *next* day didn't make much sense...yah, ya think? duh.
.

WHO?

in their right mind schedules a new mother & baby for a 9:00 AM appointment the very next day after release from the hospital for giving birth? Apparently Kaiser! lol

WHAT was I thinking agreeing to it? arg!

It was to check for jaundice...all fine.

However when they weighed him the *advice nurse* seemed very concerned over the fact that he had lost %10 of his birth weight...bringing him *down* to 6lb 4 oz!!! Yikes!

So...she suggested we supplement w/ formula temporarily.

Nod & smile. yah, NOT gonna happen!
My milk hadn't even come in yet...I'm fairly healthy so I predict there should be no problem there, never had a problem before. She made an appointment for us to come back in the next day to weigh him again.....ugh. We had her schedule it for the latest possible time...to give ourselves that much longer to feed him.

Smile & nod.
Smile & nod.

After thoughts

I really have NO complaints.

The labor went quickly which was a blessing.

I felt really good afterward.

Today I feel really tired but I think that's simply cause it's so hard to sleep @ the hospital.
My bum is a bit sore today but not too bad.

My stomach is *still* really *high* up. Weird. Seems like baby never *dropped*.
Gained the most weight & baby is smallest? I expected him to be bigger. lol Guess I really was eating for *me*. lol

He's a *great* nurser, much better then the other 3 were @ first. He's REALLY nursing good. SO far he seems very bright & alert & calm, over all.
He's *skinny*....for being 20 in long & just under 7 lbs....I was surprised how small he was, really...& such a sweet, tiny little head.

He's got great color. His eyes, of course are that newborn grey but I really think they will be brown like the rest.
No bald headed babies ever here. lol

Dh seems SO involved too this time...wanting to hold him ALL the time. Definitely different.
I am finally realizing this is OUR baby. lol Took me a few hours though to get used to the idea.
I kinda felt disconnected but I know it helps to hold baby as much as possible...so I have been & I feel more connected. He's just SO sweet.



The weather was gorgeous yesterday & bright & sunny today. I wore my dress home & was still bigger then I expected (LOL) but that's ok.
It's supposed to rain Tuesday night then for a few days...so we'll see.

4/5 is a good date.
I don't know what they base this on but his apgar score was 9.9 (out of 10 right?).
His color is good.

Those cloth diapers I made...are NOT going to fit him for awhile, I think. LOL
He's got quite the tiny bony rump! lol

His Birth Story

Wow...so I guess I *must* be tired because I got online earlier & just didn't have the mental capacity to post anything. lol

So here we go...blow by blow...

Woke up yesterday morning, as usual, to go to church, except earlier. Felt a contraction that was undeniably *different*. Just *knew* this was it but I doubted myself anyway so I didn't tell Big E. Lil E was still out of town, btw. Posted to you all...forced myself to take a shower. Knew I'd regret it if I didn't. SO GLAD I did. I woke DH up right before I got in the shower...that was 8:40am. Told him to get the kiddos ready for church.

Tried to time the contrax but as I had posted yesterday, just could NOT keep track of time. I was wearing my watch, would check the time...then when next one hit, just could NOT remember what time the other one had hit. kwim? Seriously.

Finally when they were 1-2 min apart, DH was like: I think we should go to the hospital. I did not like that idea & thought it was still too early. Was afraid they'd put me in a bed & I'd be stuck there for hours, uncomfortable & tempted to get drugs that I really didn't want. kwim? BTW: *this time* I was smart enough to call my SIL *before* I went to the hospital, prior to births I called her on my way & she missed them both, I was done by the time she got there so I never got nay pix or videos.

SO we head off to the hospital...when I got there I was VERY glad DH had insisted we go cause I could now tell my body was simply operating under the command of: DOWN & OUT! As in everything inside was moving DOWN & OUT! kwim? My mil & fil were there. I believe it was around 11am.

Prenatal triage is on the 2nd floor. Made our way up there...stopping along the way cause I could not walk through the contrax.



It took a bit more time then I expected @ the front counter....I was thinking the entire time of my *rehearsed* line: Last time I was here I had the baby within 20 minutes! Thinking if I did they would believe me....well I did not say it...



So they set me up in a triage space w/ instructions to get/give a urine sample & change into a hospital gown. Things were getting even MORE serious & I could barely move to try & change.



Once I did I notice fluid dripping...w/ a bit of blood. I could *not* give a urine sample. Naturally they told me to get up onto the bed. Not what I wanted but @ least they were patient to wait until the contrax gave me a break.



Then onto the bed...I felt disappointed & was afraid I'd be there for hours more. The contrax were *really* beginning to become unbearable & they were putting a baby heart monitor around my stomach which just felt irritating to me, but whatever. Eventually @ some point they wanted to *check* me & said they *thought* I was maybe @ 6-7-or 8 cm dilated but she couldn't tell for sure & they felt the bag bulging & baby's head. I thought my water had broken or already sprung a leak since I was having fluid come out???



DH was trying to tell them my labors are pretty quick but I don't think they believed us. They wanted to put an IV in. What for? They said to help manage the pain, I told them I did not want anything for the pain...then she said, ok it's just fluids. I did not have the energy to fight about that or question her any more. The contrax were really, really serious & I felt emotional about it & was crying a bit through them.



I guess my body knew how I felt because as a person attempted to put an IV, she said my vein blew ??? SO she went for another bright vein on the back of my hand...same thing. I have very *good* veins so this was *weird*.

A bit later someone else came & they told her to get my IV into my other hand...that hurt SO BAD! I think she hit the bone or something...I think that made me cry a bit more.



She apologized...NO IV though. Finally they were taking me to a L & D room. Yay! I actually get to be in an actual Labor & Delivery room this time.



All this time DH has been letting me keep a death grip on his hand during contrax & telling me positive things like I'd doing great & such...

They wheel the bed I'm on into the L&D room & they *insist* I have to get into this other bed. NOW I've gotta PUSH!
I'm starting to feel frantic....& like I have to go the bathroom. iykwim. Of course they tell me NOT to push. But it's really too late to say that. They want me to get onto the other bed but I gotta PUSH & the contrax are not gonna wait for me to change beds. SO A nurse CLIMBS up onto the other bed to try & help me move over onto it. Somehow I manage to roll over onto it & scooch over all the while I can feel my body pushing....

I am flat on my back. WHY? But it's too late to really care....I push & the nurse is like WHOA! & puts her hand on my body as baby's head is coming out...LOL...I guess trying to hold him & I back??? lol The CNM is NOT even there. Now that I think back over it...I realize I basically did this ON MY OWN, anyway. lol The CNM kinda runs in & is like WHOA! as I'm pushing his head out. NOTHING is stopping me & I am NOT waiting any longer. NO one is even holding or supporting my legs or anything. Then I push again & he's here!







SIL tells me that baby was born inside the amniotic sac...still intact, the CNM peeled it off his face & body...but it was like tight on his body & he did not cry, open his eyes or mouth or anything until she peeled it off.

Birth time recorded as 12:02pm!!! It *seemed* so much longer @ the time....

Whew! I'm already laying back....I pretty much had one had on the wall next to me & my other is holding DH hand. He's telling me how great i am. I feel shaky & just really out of it.



There's a baby on my belly & I lazily put my hand on him. I can't believe he's SO TINY!!!! & I feel nothing emotionally. I can't even believe it but I don't even feel shock. I just feel very out of it.



I see DH cuts baby's cord. I feel emotionally NUMB. I'm shaky.








Eventually they move baby to clean & weigh him. I did think a few thoughts & start saying aloud how great I am, to myself. How good I did. DH had been kissing me & telling me how proud he was of me & how great I did too, right before that....I was kinda thinking what for? I think I was confused or didn't realize baby had been born or I don't know what?

Eventually they put him on me again to try & nurse...he's SO TINY! I can't believe it!!! And it all doesn't seem real yet.







Eventually we're moved up to the 5th floor & Sam & Birdy are finally allowed to come in & meet their new baby brother. (Lil E is still not back yet) They are SO in love!!! They don't want to stop holding him & Birdy keeps suggesting he needs a diaper change so she can HELP!!!

More pix after they upload....

Baby Bump

39 WEEKS!

No joke!

I *really* thought last night/this morning was going to be IT.

I was having some pretty strong contractions, the kind that wrap all the way around your middle, front to back. When I stand, it stimulates contractions. If I went for a few laps around the block...maybe I could force the issue, but when I would sit down, things would settle.

But last night, I already *was* sitting down. Eventually I went to bed, thinking, well if this IS it, I better get some rest...I fell asleep. They stopped. I was awakened a couple hours alter by a strong contraction, got up to use the restroom & didn't have any more & promptly feel back asleep. {sigh}

Not htat I really want my baby's due date to be on April Fool's Day! No way.

And guess what...our dog is *expecting* too. I wasn't sure @ first, thought maybe she was just *eating extra well* & gaining wight. She is clearly waddling now & *wide*. Lovely!