Almost felt like *me* again.

I took a run today!
Maybe it was more like a jog & waddle...a joddle? or a woggle? waggle? lol

Whatever.

But I felt good about it.
I walked a warm-up mile then ran (ok already, *jogged*) a mile.
Then walked a cool down mile.

It wasn't so bad.
I felt the aches & pains I get from walking but it wasn't so bad & after a while, they left completey. It did feel like every car that passed me was staring @ me...maybe they were?

But boy did I feel *great* afterwards!
There *really* is a *runner's high*.

& for a few slow, lumbering minutes, I felt like *me* again!

& btw: this little guy is *so* active. Seriously.
Berty was the last one & I really don't remember *her* being so active.
I don't remember noticing any of them being *so* active.

I wonder if that is a sign of thigns to come?
But newborns are so INactive, w/ the introduction of gravity & all...so I wonder....

I also wonder what he is gonna look like.
What his personality is going to be.

I always enjoy that contemplation.
Wondering what the DNA mix is gonna be....only God knows. ;-)

Baby Bump

25 WEEKS!

Where does *all* that weight go?

Maternal stores of nutrientsand muscle development 7 Pounds
Increased body fluid 4 Pounds
Increased blood 3 - 4 Pounds
Breast growth 1 - 2 Pounds
Enlarged uterus 2 Pounds
Amniotic fluid 2 Pounds
Placenta 1.5 Pounds
Baby 6 - 8 Pounds
Total 26.5 - 30.5 Pounds
Source: American College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists

Baby Alive

Wasn't there a doll w/ that name? lol

Baby is *so* active right now. I mean *really* active....*all* the time.

In these precarious times it's a comfort really, to know I'm *never* alone. A constant reminder & companion.

It's neat.

I'm in the cute stage anyway & that is enjoyable. You know the stage where all anyone can notice is your baby belly & they say nice things like: oh you exactly the same except w/ a baby bump, like you haven't gained *any* weight @ all.

Oh how sweet....& you sigh as you think, yah, you say that *noooooow*! lol

Wait till 8.5 mos! lol

I did find & bring out my 'bigger jeans'...regular jeans in sz 11 & 13. I LOVE wearing them more than the maternity pants. I really *don't* like those...or maybe it's just *not* the same as your *own* jeans...kwim? Even though they are bigger...they just feel more like *mine* & I am so much more comfortable in them. Go figure...& maybe it's the lack of *lint*!!!! (did i write about that?)

Baby Bump

22 WEEKS

(we got to skip 21 weeks)

Another new due date....

So every time I go to the ob...or I should say each time I've had an ultrasound they've bumped up my due date....interesting.

Funny thing whenever anyone asks me, I've just been saying: sometime in April...& my vote is April 7th! lol

Well @ my monthly appointment today, my CNM verified that I have a new due date!!!

Let's just say it's no longer 'mid-April'...early April is more appropriate. So my next update pic..well it will be one week AHEAD! lol

And CNM says I've only gained about 10 lbs! *I* thought I was pushing 20lbs already. So either I was in denial about my pre-pg weight, cause I kept saying it was 125, but @ the initial apppointment I weighed in @ 130, or I *really* did gain 5 lbs in the first 2 weeks of pg! lol

So to *me* I've gained about 15 lbs...but according to the chart, I've only gained 10.

And if I do the math, according to my LMP, this new due date & baby's current size, baby was conceived right before my P or during it!!!

Crazy!

This is important to me because it only confirms that this was really a God thing. I think all conceptions are but....the idea was that I was just being irresponsible & maybe if I had been extra diligent...ya know?

But *who* imagines they are fertile & ovulating *during* thier P?

God is *crazy*.
LOL

Seriously...I don't know what He was possibly thinking but I'm excited to see how this all plays out.

Choices...

Today was Thanksgiving...biggest feast of the year. Except I'm pregnant which means I can *not* fit that much food into my stomach @ one time thanks to Baby boy. He's got priority. So I finally realized I have to have way smaller portions, more often.

It basically comes down to choices. I have 2 choices: breathing or eating. lol

Seriously though. So while everyone else was pigging out & over stuffing themselves I was nicely enjoying a bit of everything. I was pacing myself. It's not so hard.

I just serve small spoonfuls of everything, on my plate. It works perfectly. ;-)

Another thing is; regular foods I normally enjoy, seem to taste a little off. For example, my sil makes veggie lasagna every Thanksgiving & I love it. This year...not so much. I'm not a huge fan of turkey but I'll have a little...again, it was just yuck!

It's disappointing & some days nothing sounds remotely good. It's so extreme when you are pregnant. 2 mos ago I couldn't get enough to eat, I would even wake up in the middle of the night hungry. Now, just about nothing sounds good except what isn't good for me...like french fries, hamburgers & cold cereal...& my kiddos eat the cold cereal up before I can even get some. lol

sigh.

Baby Bump

20 WEEKS!

I can't believe it.

Today was the long awaited day....the ultrasound that would hopefully tell us if I was carrying a boy or a girl. I really hoped for a girl.

The tech was actually very nice. I remember previous experiences where the tech sat there in stone silence while my mind frantically wondered if my baby was missing a head or something. The tech would click, click, click away taking all these measurements while never saying a word nor looking in my direction.

This guy though was so friendly. He pointed out every pic, a different body part, all of which he said looked good & healthy. He asked me if he could tell if I wanted to know or wait until the rest of the family was in w/ me. I said No way! Tell me!!! I think I deserve some perks for being the mom, don't you? lol

There was *no* doubt about it. It was clearly a BOY!!! A boy! I laughed, I could not believe it.

I explained I had wanted a girl but really, all that matters is that baby is healthy. We already have 2 boys & a girl.

Finally the rest of the family came in & I teased them that I knew what we were having.
The tech teased them it was twins! I wish!!!

When he pointed it out, we all laughed. I said, it's a boy! & then Berty just stood there. She asked: is it a boy or a girl? I repeated: it's a boy! She suddenly burst into tears! & we all burst out laughing.

She was better after a chocolate dipped ice-cream cone. We're comfort eaters, what can I say? Plus encouraging words of how much she is going to love this little brother & her heart will melt & she'll most certainly have another playmate.

It seems her main concern was that she wanted someone to play w/. :-( I reminded her what a great playmate her closest brother is.

I still can't believe we are going to have 3 boys!!!!!
Now I can't stop wondering *what* he will look like & *what* his personality will be.

OH! & i almost forgot. THe tech asked me if this was my 2nd ultrasound. No....he said I was getting it so late. TO him, it looked like baby & I were almost 21 weeks along...but according to my due date, we are only 19 weeks along...everytime I've had an ultrasound, my due date changes...so I don't know???

Guess we'll see what the midwife says 2 the next appointment. But then he did say the ultrasound can be off, give or take, 3 weeks!!! How's that for accuracy?

Baby Bump

19 weeks!

Baby Bump

17 weeks!

I actually DID it!

I had honestly planned on walking...but hey, who says that's any fun? lol

Too competitive for my own good...I ran (some would call it a pathetic jog, but whatever) the whole way...5k baby! Which is 3.1 miles!

Time not too bad!

15 weeks, almost 16!!!!!

Yay pregnant ME!

I'm Pregnant Padme!

You know, the scene where Anakin is choking her to death & 20 min. later she gives birth to twins & dies?

Yah, no one else knew what I was either!!!!

But I was proud of my homemade costume! heehee. I put A LOT of work into it & no one even knew who I was...one person said: Are you from Star Trek? EEEEKKKKK!!!

Where is this world headed when you run into people who have seriously NEVER seen Star Wars? {sigh}

Well, I could not find any other pregnancy inspired Halloween costume...then I remembered Padme.

*I* thought I looked pretty cool anyway. ;-)

Baby Bump

15 weeks!
(excuse the 'scott')

Feeling more like my ol' self....

Took a,n actual RUN last Thursday! I walked a mile, ran a mile then rode my bike for 3.1 mi/5k.
I felt SO good.

Physically I was not up to my old endurance & pace, but the fact that I DID it. My run was slow, 12:30 for 1 stinking mile but I felt good about it anyway & proud of myself. One of my knees felt a bit tweaky but it always does the first day back.

Course, it took me a few days to recover! lol But seriously, it was a busy weekend.
Today I got back out there & I didn't have time to do the whole work out so I did one mile total, walk/run combo, 2 min each, @ a time. My time was even faster, 12:24 min, considering half of it was walking. My chest hurt a bit after but admittedly i didn't do a proper warm up or cool down, which is WHY I decided to do a run/walk combo anyway. No knee issues either. Mentally--I felt FANTASTIC afterwards! What a GREAT start to my day!

We had too many other things to do...like go fabric shopping for my Halloween costume. I finally decided what I was going to be, last night. I was up way too late 'researching' & I am SO excited.

You'll have to wait until it's finished & I'll post a pic. heehee! ;-) We have a costume party to attend on Saturday & there is a costume contest...& well, I AM a bit competitive...SO I totally hope I WIN! LOL--but serious!

Baby Bump

14 weeks

(Yes, I'm wearing my running skirt! ;-) )

Baby Bump

13 weeks.

My weight in Tortillas!

My current weight in Mission Tortillas is 1130 tortillas! lol

Ouch!

There hasn't been a sudden return of energy...yet. :-(

I've been forcing myself to make excuses to WALK. We had an appointment @ the library, so we walked...snuck in a mile. Then middle-not-so-little has football games & practice so we walked to the park, another mile. And various short errands, like down the block--walked.

But it's certainly way less than pre-pg activity.

And now my back has started to get achy & feel heavy if I stand for any length of time. I feel so heavy already so I can't imagine as I get bigger. This part is a little different & I hope as things adjust, it will get better.

Baby Bump

12 WEEKS

what a WASTE of time!

Had an appointment w/ a Genetic Counselor today & it cost me $25 bucks! For what?

For her to ask me & then discuss if I wanted to have the AFP testing. I already got out of the unnecessary & extranneous blood tests, savign me an unnecessary errand....but instead they send me to THIS 'appointment'.

I had no idea it was going to cost me $25 either! For absolutely NOTHING! So annoying! I think they think many women are just uneducated idiots who don't realize why they turn tests down. She only confirmed my reasonings: the only reason to test is to further give you an option to ABORT! {eyeroll}

The test itself poses a higher risk of complications & baby/pregnancy damage then the risk of actually producing a child w/ the birth defects they are testing for! kwim? {more eyerolling}

I made it clear I would never 'terminate' anyway & she agreed that testing would only cause UNnecessary anxiety! Yah! I know! It's my 4th pg, I think I know a bit about this. kwim?

Irritated!!!

Feeling it..

For reals.

I'm pretty sure I've already been feeling baby moving. It's different from the others..feels stronger actually. Not as 'fluttery' but definite for sure.

I can only feel inside, not outside yet. And I can definitely feel the shape of my uterus in my lower abdomen.

I'm still so tired. I thought maybe my energy was picking up....just to feel wiped out all over again. {sigh}

It would prolly help if I GOT UP & rode my bike consistently....I was good for a week, then nothing for a week.

Baby Bump

11 WEEKS

Sorry it's blurry.

Weeks shmeeks!

I can NOT keep track of how many weeks along I am. Every time I think I have it right......something tells me different.

I get this weekly email that informs me of baby's development & how far along I am...well today it said I was 11 weeks! what?

What happen to week ten?

According to my doctor & what she said, which was already about a week farther than the previous ultrasound, I should be only about 10 weeks now...so I have NO idea or HOW to calculate it or what. sigh.

It's all hooey anyway---I mean baby is gonna arrive when baby is good &ready & no amount of calender watching is gonna change that! Good grief. Why do simple things have to be SO complicated sometimes? yikes!

Baby Bump

10 WEEKS
I should really avoid taking pix FIRST thing in the morning. ;-/

Are we in the dark ages?

We've made progress ya' know? Women are allowed to go out & get jobs AND we do NOT have to be sentenced to 9 mos of bed rest because we're pg!

BUT apparently some still think a pg girl can't even play soft ball! It's annoying. I think I know MY own body better than anyone else right? I mean i HAVE lived in it a few decades.

Baby is MORE protected NOW than it will be @ any other time in pg & yet I can't tell you how many times I have heard: you CAN'T play softball anymore!

Well, guess what? I AM a bit too tired to play, sure...BUT there is NOTHING that says I CAN'T! Modern female medicine has made it clear that anything a woman was doing BEFORE she became pg she can continue (not talking about dangerous habits like smoking or drinking) but sports! I might quit tackle football if I was playing, but GMAB!

It is not advisable to being a new physical training program during pregnancy but you can continue in whatever you were currently involved in. kwim?

And anyway---I AM a responsible adult. I think I know what I am & am not capable of & what is & isn't safe for me & my baby. I HAVE birthed & raised 3 perfectly healthy & safe children up to this point.

If I DID get hit by a ball--again, baby is buried under so much bodily padding it's ridiculous, since baby is still so small. kwim?

Ok. Vent over.

Baby Bump

9 WEEKS

I had just woken up, hadn't brushed my hair. It was still back in the braid I slept in. ;-/

Another Ultrasound

Met the MD this time.
I think things are diff w/ kaiser this go around...I have a lot more prenatal co-pays, which are ONLY $10 but I wasn't expecting ANY.

The MD was REALLY enthusiastic, friendly & nice. That was good.
She made it sound like the midwife & her would 'tag-team'? ???

She was pretty upfront & on top of the whole 'birth control' issue. Letting me know that 'many women', are looking into permament methods & therefore papers need to be signed around 20 weeks. (I'm not into anything 'permament') I prolly shouldn't have told her this was a 'surprise'.

So heart was beating 174 per minute, she said it looked fabulous. Only gave one measly pic & kept 2 for I don't know what??
Baby didn't even look bean shaped but odd shape, guess that's normal for 8 weeks 3 days. She said this ultra-sound machine was very accurate & that puts my due date @ 4/16.

Weight is up to 132!!!!! That would be about 7lbs gained. I told her I was concerned about the RATE I'm gaining weight.....she insisted that for my height, my weight was FINE, & that it would only be a concern if I was over weight. She said she recommends about 3-4 lbs per month weight gain.

I can say I have been 'blessed' NOT to feel any 'morning sickness' or anything like that. Only an occasional 'twinge' but it's like a few seconds--I eat a few bites of anything & it's gone.

Hopefully this tiredness will go away soon too....I am starting to feel UP, but get easily tired out...like today, after this weekend.Doesn't seem like much but we had our marriage group Friday night, special night of worship & prayer Sat. night, leadership meeting Sunday afternoon & church Sunday evening & birthday party w/ a family for thier very ill son. (just turned 21--been battling cancer & complications for 2 years now).

Anyway...so that's all...I might post a baby bump pic in a while.
I've been trying to deny it---but it's pretty much UNdeniable now.......

Dizzy me!

I FAINTED this morning! arg. lol

I know some lightheadedness is normal for being pg right? I've been feeling lightheaded when I get up from my morning stretch. I wake up, do a cat-type-of-stretch every morning. This morning, I was doing my little stretch but then heard the street sweeper...so I got up, went to the restroom to let DH know (he was showering for work) & then shut the door.

I felt the familiar light headedness & just stood there waiting for it to pass then I felt myself slide down the wall & then when I was coming out of it I was all shaky & couldn't remember for a minute WHY I was in the hallway--last I remembered I was in my bed praying---& it's like I woke up in the hallway praying!!!

All this happened in a matter of seconds then I remembered that I had gotten up for the street sweeper & all that.

sheesh!

1st appointment stats

Nothing special...ok so I HAVEN'T gained 10lbs!! I've gained about 4. Let's just assume it's from growing baby. ;-)

I think I've grown about 1/2 an in. in height too. lol Or I was standing extra tall? OR i just forgot about that 1/2 in since I've been rounding UP my entire life anyway? lol

Urine test again & vials of blood taken. Paperwork w/ a gazillion questions about medical history blahblahblah.

I thought we were 5 weeks along, we are 6 weeks & 1 day. I can never keep track of the weeks vs mos. So we are developing heart right now. 6 week ultrasound scheduled for this Friday, plus another one @ 9 weeks then standard @ 18 weeks. 18 weeks seems so late, I thought it was usually around 12 weeks? But date wise it seems to be about 4 mos so I guess that makes sense? Lets call it crazy gestational math. lol

I normally decline the AFP testing, but because of my age, I qualify for an extra ultrasound....so I agreed. I usually decline since I know I would have baby no matter what & the test is not %100 accurate, so therefore, IMO, it creates UNnecessary stress or worry. The test is a state test to determine some birth defects, like down syndrome. I guess statistically, baby is @ a higher risk due to my age. I'm not personally concerned about that.

EDD is 4/23. Online calculator said 4/24. Only God knows. I'm still hoping to receive my precious gift on MY actual birthday of 4/17. *I* personally think it would be all the extra special. :-)

Already?

I swear I've gained 10lbs! I can SEE it. ugh.

I suspect being pg @ 35 is going to be completely different than being pg @ 29!

My goal is to be in the BEST physical shape during this pg & to enjoy it the most.
If only I could get passed these tired & depressed feelings...I'm going to have to work harder @ this, I think.

I need to be more forceful w/ myself to get up & get MOVING...on the bike @ least. {sigh}

Growing a human takes an unbelieveable amount of energy OUT of you. kwim?
Seriously, lets examine this for a moment...

I. am. growing. a. HUMAN BEING. in. my. body!

This week I believe baby is developing it's (microscopic?) brain...next week, the heart should begin beating.

I am never less amazed when I think of the development of a human life. I can become completely overwhelmed w/ awe if I think of it too much.

I don't believe you can have a baby & NOT believe in God. Incomprehensable to me.

Let's be REAL for a moment...

I am seriously NOT looking forward to....

having 12lb breasts!!!

& MORE stretch marks that look like I'm gonna rip @ the seams.

& needing 30 min just to get IN the car.

& having to lug around a stroller again.

& not being able to 'get up & go' @ a moments notice.

& not being able to fit into my VS undies---ok well, I wasn't fitting into them anymore anyway but @ least there was hope!

& having the feeling like I'm a walking billboard (& being the size of one) that says: YES! I had SEX!

{sigh}

Ok..but I am looking forward to 'mommy arms'--those nice muscles you develop from picking up your baby.

It was the tooth brushing...

Or is it teeth brushing?

Anyway that was one thing that tipped me off to even test.

You see, I LOVE to brush my teeth. For reals! My DH even makes fun of me for it. But I have a track record of NOT enjoying the brushing of the teeth when I am pg. Makes me gag...iykwim.

So I noticed that I hadn't really FELT like brushing my teeth lately. I didn't enjoy it & I was even rushing to get thru it. Imagine that!

Go figure!

Reactions

I could only keep it to myself for about an hour before I woke up DH. I had spent that time in prayer crying out to God for assurance that this madness was HIS idea & that HE knew what HE was doing!

So I abruptly woke him up & interrogated him about his 'commitment level' to me & our family & other crazy-newly-pregnant-lady ramblings. He assured me, through sleepy & bewildered eyes that all was well between us. And proceeded to get showered & ready for church.

In the middle of his shower (tmi?) I pulled back the curtain & blurted out the news. He smiled real big & said how exciting. I burst into tears. He then lovingly asked: aaawweee, what's wrong?

I explained all my fears. He assured me he was in a 'much better place now' compared to back then & felt he was now in a much better place w/ God as well.

The next day we told the ktbunch. Uh, they were beyond excited. Berty was running around the house hollering: We're having a baby! {emphasis on the 'we're' part} Sammyboy said it was the best day of his life. Why? I asked. Because we get to go to Disneyland AND have a baby! (we have passes & had already planned to go Monday)

Even my wonderful 15.5 yo son said it was exciting. I'm glad.

I'm still getting used to the idea...slowly but surely.

Some other friends responded SO positively. Like a relieved happiness w/ the sense of: finally something GOOD ti look forward to for your family.

I certainly hope so.

Surprise?

What the!?!?!?!

2 positive pink lines! 2. POSITIVE. pink. lines.

ARE YOU KIDDING ME?

Then I buried my hands in my face & CRIED!

I didn't even have to wait the 5 min...it IMMEDIATELY turned into 2 pink lines. I was scared.

I felt as if I had been given the BEAUTIFUL JEWELED comb BUT I had already cut off ALL my hair! kwim? Are you familiar w/ that story?

It was what I had always wanted.....another baby. But it was/is the WORST possible time. I had finally determined in my mind & heart hat I would not be having any more children. I had grieved & mourned, gotten used to & FINALLY accepted it.

Therefore I began to make plans.....the path my life would take & what it would look like w/ just 3 members of the ktbunch. Not so bad. I was going to go back to school, finish my degree, move up the industry ladder, getting more involved in leadership roles @ church. Life was smooth--we could get in & out of the car in no time. lol We were in a good place, easy breezy days @ the beach, everyone was self-sufficient. I focused on all the positives of NOT having a baby @ this time.

Then this PITCH!

All my vulnerabilities & insecurities came rising to the surface....wounds from the past I had kept hidden were looking @ me face to face. TEARS of fear.

So here we are.

I rely on God's Word & what I KNOW, not necessarily how I feel.
Children are a blessing. I know that. God is rewarding me after all--for my obedience to His will @ all times, even when it was not what I wanted or planned...that springs more tears, tears of gratefulness.

He has always known the desires of my heart.....& he is rewarding me w/ them...in HIS timing.

Isn't He amazing?

I still have mixed feelings. It will take some getting used to the idea still & well, I've got 9 mos for that right?

All those other 'plans'--well they are not gone, just postponed.

It'll be ........... ok. :-D
I always am.