Surprise?

What the!?!?!?!

2 positive pink lines! 2. POSITIVE. pink. lines.

ARE YOU KIDDING ME?

Then I buried my hands in my face & CRIED!

I didn't even have to wait the 5 min...it IMMEDIATELY turned into 2 pink lines. I was scared.

I felt as if I had been given the BEAUTIFUL JEWELED comb BUT I had already cut off ALL my hair! kwim? Are you familiar w/ that story?

It was what I had always wanted.....another baby. But it was/is the WORST possible time. I had finally determined in my mind & heart hat I would not be having any more children. I had grieved & mourned, gotten used to & FINALLY accepted it.

Therefore I began to make plans.....the path my life would take & what it would look like w/ just 3 members of the ktbunch. Not so bad. I was going to go back to school, finish my degree, move up the industry ladder, getting more involved in leadership roles @ church. Life was smooth--we could get in & out of the car in no time. lol We were in a good place, easy breezy days @ the beach, everyone was self-sufficient. I focused on all the positives of NOT having a baby @ this time.

Then this PITCH!

All my vulnerabilities & insecurities came rising to the surface....wounds from the past I had kept hidden were looking @ me face to face. TEARS of fear.

So here we are.

I rely on God's Word & what I KNOW, not necessarily how I feel.
Children are a blessing. I know that. God is rewarding me after all--for my obedience to His will @ all times, even when it was not what I wanted or planned...that springs more tears, tears of gratefulness.

He has always known the desires of my heart.....& he is rewarding me w/ them...in HIS timing.

Isn't He amazing?

I still have mixed feelings. It will take some getting used to the idea still & well, I've got 9 mos for that right?

All those other 'plans'--well they are not gone, just postponed.

It'll be ........... ok. :-D
I always am.